Divorce ….. Local (Omani) Style!

Divorce ….. Local (Omani) Style!

(Original Version)

The chapter talks about the increasing phenomena and problems in local divorces. Taken from the heading of the film – Divorce, American Style! Looks at the increasing rising divorces in locals both in Oman and other Gulf States, and what are the causes, conflicts, repercussions and discusses what couples should do ‘to save their marriage’ at all costs and problems to children of separated couples.

She calls home immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do anything silly - DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

***

*** Let us start with this joke, to ‘break the ice of a rather serious and emotive subject matter. The story goes on like this – Typical X (X - choose your own favourite jokes target victim group!) Mentality.

Divorcing after 45 years an elderly X man in (choose your city) calls his son in (far away city in another country) and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough!" "Pop, what are you talking about?" The son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you had better call your sister in (other city) and tell her!" Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."

She calls home immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do anything silly - DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay, dear", he says, "They're coming for (choose your celebration occasion) and paying for their own travel fare."


Seriously though, if one is to go by possible Statistics, sadly and tragically, you find that increasingly younger and younger couples are now ‘cheating’ outside the marital home, and their marriages ending on the rocks. What was the norm of older couples is now also prevalent and predominant also in younger couples. I know personally of a couple that had spent not less than Omani Rials 20,000 (yes Twenty Thousand, no kidding!) for their marriage celebrations per se. Six months later approximately the marriage was on the ‘back burner’ and ‘on the rocks’. The kissing, hugging and loving couples were transferred to the Dr Jeykll and Hyde Story to an unbelievable level of anger, fury, bitterness, recriminations, rancour and hate – and accusations and double accusations, that you could not believe that this same couple had even threatened to ‘elope’, because one of the parents thought ‘they were too early to get married’. Thankfully, they are back again, but I personally think the damage has been irrevocably been done, at least for the immediate future!

I was reading this article “The Top 10 Shortest Celebrity Marriages’ who all got divorced within the first nine months (highest) to one six hours (lowest) – yes sober too! Is this what we are now aiming for in our society? When I was working in one of the Gulf countries for one year approximately, the local papers were full of cases and news of premature divorces and early separations, especially in marriages between locals. This despite the fact that there were State Apparatus to encourage nationals to marry, and their wedding celebrations were done en masse at this Apparatus costs. The underlying factor that was given for this dilemma was that the local boys wanted to act as ‘macho men’ like their great grandfathers in their old Times, whilst the girls (who unalike their great grandmothers - were not willing to play ‘their old grandmothers’ role) as they TOO were educated and liberal in approach and in outlook) – thus a sure fatal recipe and ingredient for a ‘marriage combustion converter element’, like a matchbox to a litre of petrol!

When I asked the local girls in my Office why the local boys preferred to marry ‘foreign wives’, they crudely replied that the boys wanted an obedient and loyal ‘cook, domestic servant and waitress’ – and not a companion, friend or partner to share their lives with. When I asked the local boys, they retorted that their girls ‘were lazy, conceited and proud’ and had inflated opinions of themselves and ‘what they were worth!’, and that is why they preferred foreign ones. The Far Eastern brides were considered as a ‘good catch’ because they had been brought up to esteem and respect their husbands, and that ‘they remained loyal and faithful’ (sic! And double sic!!) Even if they knew that their husbands were unfaithful and cheating too!

What is ironical is that the girls there thought ‘things were good in your country (‘greener on the other hill syndrome?’); at least it is not that easy to get permission to ‘marry foreigners’ like here!! They said at least your Authorities know how to protect the society from foreign influences and elements. They could be right, at least in the beloved nation we do not carry advertisements propagating and encouraging our local boys to marry foreign wives, because in all the Adverts in whatever media, you will find the young couples in local dresses, unalike that other place where the man is in local dress but the wife and the kids too are either European or from the so-called more Advanced Arab Levant countries’!!

But how far different are we in Oman? Perhaps if the gates were open, perhaps too our youth would prefer to go ‘foreign too? It is a one million dollar question; for sure none of us in our right senses would want to find out! What happened to the sanctity and preservation of marriage as the highest institution in our lives? As according to our Islamic Religion teachings, the Holy Quraan, The Sunnah and The Hadith? Our Omani customs, traditions, culture and heritages??

Do we need a scapegoat? The Satellite dishes beaming decadent and wrong conceptions and ideas to us, that it is okay to cheat (man, everyone is doing it, so long as you are not
found out, so what syndromes!) and having ‘something extra on the side’ is perfectly normal and natural (do not forget men are born ‘polygamous’ and is a ‘hunter’ by nature, and the ‘damsels are to be chased, hunted and conquered - even if they are other peoples wives!’- Is all perfectly natural and normal!

How about being more realistic and practical in our self-evaluations, analysis and assessments? Isn’t it a question of not keeping to our values and all those that we hold close and dear to us? Our customs, traditions, culture, customs and upbringings? How about increased selfishness and increased materialism? Easy way out solutions rather than ‘sit, grin and bear’ it stuff? Frankness, openness, forthrightness, sincerity and genuineness instead of lies, deceits, deceptions and evilness and vileness??

How come if you tell someone young nowadays that you are married now for 26 years, the first question is ‘are you mad? Are you okay? Are you sure you are happy, satisfied and contented – or is it just a show and a façade? How come we took these thing as being natural with our Grand Parents and Parents (some with even 3 or 4 wives too! – try that now a girl smiles at you, and the wife suspects something ‘fishy’ is going on, or about to happen – and vice versa?

How come there is no license to get married, like in a driving license? Some African tribes in East Africa allow you to take a maiden, and only to marry her if you are both compatible! Is a car more important than a wife or a husband? And what about the sanctity and the sacrilege of marriages??

We need to impart to our younger generations the high sacrilege, sanctity and high importance and profile of the ‘Marriage Institution’. Patience, harmony, tolerance, forbearing, trust, faith and confidence. This in order to save our Society for future generations! And to stop emulating and copying blindly alien outlooks, culture, customs, traditions, heritage and values per se!

This if we want to preserve and save our society; and for future generations.

End