Telling Lies!

Telling Lies!
(Or why we Cheat and Tell Lies!)

Now that if the whole world was to tell the truth, there would be no need for ‘laws, rules, regulations, the Police and the Courts too for that matter! All one had to say was, ‘Excuse me, I am just saying the truth here’ and the rest of the world would fall in line and believe him or her for that matter.
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Let me ask you this question – if I ask you to tell me truthfully, that is, ‘have you ever lied in your life? Have you cheated someone, and pretended that you were honest and truthful?’ Guess the answers one will get? ‘No, I have always been an honest and truthful person. Excuse me, first of all, who are you to ask me these type of (personal) questions? Actually, I do not have to answer such type of questions from anyone for that matter!’

Notice the excited emotions? The ‘automatic defensive mechanisms’ that springs to place? This followed by the aggressions too? It all ‘comes out natural’ for many! They say ‘more’ from those who are ‘habitual and chronic pathetic liars and cheaters! For them to tell lies is just like a ‘cup of tea’ or drinking water – it all comes out easy and natural!

Now that if the whole world was to tell the truth, there would be no need for ‘laws, rules, regulations, the Police and the Courts too for that matter! All one had to say was, ‘Excuse me, I am saying the truth here’ and the rest of the world would fall in line and believe him. Finito! End! Period! But because we lie and cheat, and some of us of the times (or when we want to cover our tracks especially!), we have these things in place!

Did you read the novel 1984 (I think was by George Orwell)? In this ‘Big Brother’ can read your mind before you ever think of it – and you are already in BIG trouble! Big brother is watching you!’ Would that not be a frightening world to live in? When you see someone and say (by telepathy or other way means) ‘stop – and you immediately do something to that person’ because you can read his or her brain and mind? No need of pretence compliments or looking the other way, because you know exactly what that person thinks (or you think of him or her!) and there is no need to ‘cheat or tell lies’ to one another?

It is said that during the ‘Cold Wars’ the Russians and the KGB were desperately trying hard to penetrate and to delve into research where they could read peoples minds! If it is ‘just fits of the imagination’ and as a result of the cold war propagandas, no one has ever found out or to ever know to date - at least, and thank God too!

Why do we lie and cheat? It is a one million dollar question. Some lie always – by habits and behaviour, they are chronic and pathetic liars too! When I was in my young Secondary school days, there was a student in our class. They called him ‘Mr. Kiboko” – that is ‘one who whips out tales’, or ‘Mr. ‘Mabomu’ - one who blasts out (exaggerates!)! One time in class he told us that there was a big traffic pile up and he thinks some people had died (though he admitted later he did not personally see any ‘dead people’). Actually all he saw was some passengers looking out of a bus that had crashed into a smaller car at a traffic junction. There were some injury to the driver of the small car, but no deaths and no pile-ups either!

When I used to work in that same place, I had a colleague who used to ‘lie and cheat’ on his spouse and using me as the excuse to her. ‘I have gone to M’s house’, he used to tell her, ‘we are going out to see a new film together! Sometimes he used to tell me in advance on his fibs, but one time I had answered his phone and his wife (new one too - some peoples!) asked me ‘so what film did you see yesterday with xyz?’ Luckily I had seen the paper’s advertisement and said ‘Ice Station Zebra’.

I stopped the guy from using me anymore as ‘his excuse’ after this. Eventually the wife found out too (these things have always a way of coming out and the truth to prevail and dominate eventually!) And they were divorced with 2 small children too! How pathetic, sad and tragic! Sadly more and pathetically too, that lady was a First Class one and very pretty one too. I guess if there was another devious person, who could have used the information to his advantage and benefits, but not the innocent, naïve and dumb I for that matter!

If one takes ‘you to be a habitual, chronic and customary liar’, a time may come and sometimes at a most critical time in your life too – when you are actually saying the truth for once, and no one is going to believe you! It maybe even involve your personal freedom (or extreme case your own very life) that would depend on it, and that is at stake. Add ‘circumstantial evidence’ to a habitual liar – that is it – the combustion followed by an explosion - the stakes are all that high to do you in!

Why do we lie anyway? This subject, to be answered fully and rightly, would definitely take more than the column space they allow me weekly – but possibly some answers I guess (briefly!): -
a) Just for the fun and thrill of it!
b) For our ‘pursuits, chases, habits’ etc.
c) Getting out of a situation you do not like to remain in or to have been in, in the first place and instance (like a ‘forced marriage’ thing!)
d) You think you are the smarter and more intelligent person, the rest are all gullible susceptible stupid fools who will believe anything – ‘hook, bait and sinker’!
e) To gain something – advantage or profit from someone.
f) To get out of a nasty situation or status quo.
g) It is a natural reaction, behaviour and custom, and the way one conducts himself or herself in life!
h) To escape possible penalty and punishment if found out - whether environmentally, socially, professionally, ethically and or personally.
i) To ‘have your cake and eat it’ too – few can do this!
j) Proving or showing a bad example to others who may be tempted to follow or emulate you!
k) To bring feuding parties together – like family members, husband and wife.
l) For ‘publicity, morality and propaganda’ purposes.
m) To advertise or sell a thing or product in the market.
n) To occupy and dominate a position or status quo.
o) The politicians route to power and fame.
p) Actors and Actresses same route to be starring, power and fame.
q) Have you heard of the expression – ‘butter will not melt on her mouth? It shows essence of honesty, truthfulness sincerity – you say it. The true situation is completely different!
r) A façade (decoration) that one is good, pious and religious, when one is not!
s) Others possibly.

How can we know if someone is lying to us? Scientists, Psychiatrists, Psycho Analysts have given us may ‘body signs’ that we can identify with lying, like avoiding eye contact, hands movements, eye pupil movements etc. But then the question remains – if one can be detected by these, would not one play-act play-role etc to see one is not found out? Certainly they will. I guess that is why they have ‘lie – detectors’ used also in crime scenes! Although there are some controversies that even these one can play with to portray being honest and truthful too.

What if someone is actually telling the truth (even if for once in his life) but we still do not believe him? Is there no danger of a ‘hang jury’ thing here - especially if the evidence is all circumstantial and not provable too? I am not sure – but I think it is the French who have said ‘Better let many possibly criminals go Scot-free, than induct a wrong innocent person’. (Forgive me it comes with age – I know the expression but cannot remember who said it!) – Or ‘is innocent until proved guilty – as the Brits say! Our own religion holds telling of lies and cheating as grave evil things with great punishments in the grave and the hereafter for such things.

Whichever religion or creed you belong too, it is all the same outlook, view and held values! Next time you want to lie, remember this! Speak the truth for once; a lot may depend on it. You may never know till it is too late, too!

Anyway make a resolution to ‘always speak the truth’ from now on, just in case!

…………… End ………………….